Five Dollar Comedy Week 3

All shows at The Plays & Players Theater (1714 Delancey Street. Reserve seats!)

Monday, July 20


Michael S. Watkins is a stand-up comedian. He wants to be a sketch comedian but nobody will let him in their sketch groups. This is his chance to showcase his great characters by wandering out in the middle of other people’s sketches.

Hosted by Michael S. Watkins


Become a confident public speecher and strong leader today! Talkmaster Kate Banford takes one lucky audience and turns them into pros. You’ll leave this show ready to make talk at your wedding, funeral and nationally televised appearance using her patented speak-making formula.

Hosted by Kate Banford

10:00pm- BURN IT DOWN (A Roast Show)

An elegant roast that features some of the best ball-busting, cutthroat assholes Philadelphia has to offer! Throughout the course of the show, we will mercilessly rip into celebrities, subcultures, and even your ex.

Hosted by Lou Misiano & Sidney Gantt


A hot, saucy, unrevealable surprise that you’re just going to have to show up to see. Five bucks at the door, or FREE to anyone attending the previous show.

Tuesday, July 21


Everyone knows the Plays & Players Theater is haunted as F. Using a variety of tools and methods, Aaron Nevins will take you on the ghost-hunting expedition of a lifetime. You will see a ghost GUARANTEED or 10% of your money back.

Workshop with Aaron Nevins

7:00pm- AS SEEN ON TV

Don’t you hate it when you can’t find safe, reliable, and affordable products in a store? Why not try ordering from television? As Seen On TV aims to desparately sell ridiculous products to the masses or die trying.

Hosted by Quinton Alexander


You love your mom. But is she funny, though? Come watch four hilarious comedians prove that they can team up with their moms to get the most laughs!

Hosted by Hannah Trav and Pete Steele

10:00pm- GENERATIONS (An Advice Show)

124 years of combined experience! Co-hosts Phyllis Voren and Rose Luardo, both clinically depressed women about town, have answers for everything. Topics include drug use and abuse, evading the law, sexual exploits from the 60s and 90s, home remedies, plus all personal style questions! You got the question – we got the answer!

Hosted by Rose Luardo & Phyllis Voren

11:30pm- SECRET SHOW

A hot, saucy, unrevealable surprise that you’re just going to have to show up to see. Five bucks at the door, or FREE to anyone attending the previous show.

Wednesday, July 22


Admiration, wealth, a place in history…did you know that there’s a quick and easy way to get all of these things? Forming a cult has never been more possible or profitable. Come for the business opportunity, stay because you have to!

Workshop with Ari Fishbein


Clickbait comedy! Comedians go head-to-head with cleverly crafted headlines. You vote on which headline you want to click. Click wisely – behind each headline is something you may never get the chance to see again.

Hosted by Joe Moore


Jacquie Baker and Matthew Schmid host an earnest exploration of the topic of love through guest performances, storytelling, and interviews.

Hosted by Jacquie Baker & Matthew Schmid


Do you like having fun? Do you love the theatre? Then this show is for you! Jokes! Dancing! Cinema! Games! And more! All hosted by a human pile of shit and a human puddle of piss. It’s gonna be a 5 diaper night!

Hosted by Andrew Jeffrey Wright

11:30pm- SECRET SHOW

A hot, saucy, unrevealable surprise that you’re just going to have to show up to see. Five bucks at the door, or FREE to anyone attending the previous show.

Thursday, July 23


Being attractive is no longer just for the elite, it’s for you! For $5, we make you look good and answer statements like, “Putting on make-up takes too much time in the morning.” Believe it!

Here are a few testimonials:
“I feel more [beautiful] than ever.” Julie, 26
“After this workshop I feel like a million bucks every day.” Derek, 31
“Man, I feel like a woman,” Shania, 49

Workshop with Kate Banford


Two dozen comedians enter. All but one of them are stoned. It’s up to all of us to find the sober individual so the entire audience can win prizes! Officer Alex Grubard administers field sobriety tests, takes audience testimony, and asks trivia questions of Philly’s premier drug-induced comics as we all seek justice by weeding out the stoned. Be part of the witch hunt!

Hosted by Alex Grubard

8:00pm – TELL, DON’T SHOW

Screenwriting legends Frank Farrell, Jamie Glasheen, Sam Scavuzzo and special guest Aubrie Williams share the first table read of their new Hollywood flop. They’ve put in hours of effort in the last 30 days to churn out a real disaster of a screenplay, and this is the world premiere.

Hosted by Sean Landis

10:00pm- BLACK MASS

Jon, Charles, and James try to summon the Devil. They’ve never done this before, but they have done some research and are willing to try any and all methods to get Lucifer in the building.

Hosted by Charles Blyzniuk, Jon Lalu & James Mascuilli

11:30pm- SECRET SHOW

A hot, saucy, unrevealable surprise that you’re just going to have to show up to see. Five bucks at the door, or FREE to anyone attending the previous show.

Friday, July 24


Tired of playing alone? Then play along with fun gurus Drew and Robert in a magical journey with all the friends you’ve always wanted to have. Believe it or not, everyone has a special friend, and now you can too!

Workshop with Robert Ecks & Drew Garrison


Toys! Remember them? No? Well, we’re here to remind you, old-timer. Come be a kid again.

Hosted by Jolie Darrow & Sue Nelson

8:00pm- AMOK TRIAL

Disorder in the court! Real people try real cases in a courtroom where just about everyone is a comedian, and you’re on jury duty. Overruled!

Hosted by Alejandro Morales

10:00pm- THE BIT SHOW

The acclaimed clusterfuck is back by popular demand! 15 brand new shows, crammed into one show. As the show goes on, the shows get shorter. Don’t miss it.

Hosted by Kate Banford & Aaron Nevins

11:59pm- PUPPETS ‘N’ PORN

Watch puppets, watch porn, watch puppets watch porn.

Hosted by Matt Schmid

Saturday, July 25


Join Christian Alsis for an obnoxiously inebriated twist on the yuppie phenomenon “Painting with a Twist.” All attendees must provide their own smock/painting clothes, designated driver and bail money (if applicable).

Workshop with Christian Alsis


A completely silent variety show. No words allowed. Just like that movie The Artist.

Hosted by Dan Vetrano & Chris McGrail


We’re bringing Craigslist to life! Real people from every section of the infamous classifieds site take the stage, and we get to the bottom of what their deal is.

Hosted by Aaron Nevins


Drugs. Alcohol. Premarital desires. Saying no to peer pressure sure can be tough, even when you are the coolest senior at Jefferson High. Joined by a squad of ultra dope teens, we present a series of motivational skits, guest speakers, musical performances, and methods of staying cool under pressure.

Hosted by Joe Bell


A comedy panel show about the wonderful world of online dating. Swipe right and go on a quintuple date with your hosts (Max Barth & Eddie Finn) and three of Philly’s funniest comics.

Hosted by Eddie Finn & Max Barth

Sunday, July 26


Ever wanted to play D&D? Ever wanted to completely ruin a game of D&D? This workshop is a comprehensive crash course on how to do one of those things like an expert!

Workshop with Matt Aukamp

7:00pm- AIR BAND

A showcase of choreographed lip-synced acts that twist the meaning of a popular song for the purpose of being funny and shit. This is an appropriation of an elitist sorority event that is held all over the country with Broadway-style productions, but we don’t have a sorority budget, so…

Hosted by Brandon Jackson


60 minutes. 60 original monologues. 60 performers. Seriously, do not miss this show.

Hosted by Jacquie Baker

10:00pm- MAKE A WISH

All of our friends are dying. Please join us as we fulfill their final dying wishes one at a time.

Hosted by Aaron Nevins & Kate Banford