helium valentines

Saturday night after you’ve wined and dined the shit out of a pretty lady, take her to the raunchy midnight show at Helium to see if she’s really a keeper. If she laughs at Mike Rainey and company’s vulgar jokes about filching, smegma, and whatever else these god-damned rembrandts are discussing, you know it’s true love and not just an expensive 4am uber fare.

Scoop up tickets while they last, and while you’re at it, check out Jen Kirkman of Drunk History fame who’ll be performing Thursday through Saturday.