And the Winner of the December Caption Contest is...

Congratulations to Kevin Pettit, winner of the December WitOut Caption Contest!  Here’s Kevin’s caption:

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Seeing his two soon-to-be victims fighting over who was going to die first, Jason finally felt like the prettiest girl at the dance.

Kevin, look for an email from WitOut soon with information to claim your prize: two tickets to a ComedySportz Philadelphia show of your choice!


Comedy Night at The Buck Hotel

Description: Philly comedy icon Big Daddy Graham joins Flyers Legend Dave "The Hammer" Schultz for an awesome night of comedy in the elegant Buck Hotel Presidential Ballroom. Tix just $45.00 and includes a scrumptious pre show buffet.

Style: Stand-up

Date: March 8

Time: 7:30pm

Admission: Tickets Available Online or by calling 215-396-2002

Location: The Buck Hotel - 1200 Buck Road, Feasterville, Pennsylvania

Contact: Facebook Event


Top 5 of 2012: Corin Wells's Top 5 Sexiest Improv Moments of 2012

As the year winds down, WitOut collects lists from comedy performers and fans of their favorite moments, comedians, groups, shows, etc. from the last year in Philly comedy. Top 5 of 2012 lists will run throughout December, and slightly beyond, if we deem it necessary–if you’d like to write one, pitch us your list at contact@witout.net!

Sexiness is not learned. It’s a gift and when you combine that gift with comedy, prepare to burst with laughter and…well… yea.

5.  The Birth of Davenger and Hot Dish (shameless, vain plug)

4. J.P. Boudwin and Billy Bob Thompson in Improv at Bernie’s
For the Del Close Marathon this year, the amazing Kaitlin Thompson came up with the brilliant concept of Improv at Bernie’s in which a group of improvisers do a set with a dead cast member, played effortlessly by Billy Bob Thompson.  In one of the scenes (I wish I could remember what it was about), J.P. gives Billy a nice long, loving, lustful raspberry right on his belly.

3. Asteroid!’s Orgy

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….This picture explains it.

2. Emily Davis.
Just… every time she walks on stage. ::swoon::

1. Andrew Stanton and Luke Field’s Duo

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If you missed this, you missed life. Whatever stars aligned that day to bring this two together on stage, I am forever grateful because that was one of my favorite improv moments period. I think I described it as “my improv wet dream."  Accurate.

Corin Wells is a member of the PHIT Improv House Team Hot Dish and Sketch House Team Dog Mountain. She also performs with the independent team Iron Lung and is one half of the duo Ebony and Ivory, hosts of 'Cagematch'


NEW COLUMN from WitOut: "Necrosexual Solves Your Stupid Poser Problems"

Does life sometimes seem cold, dark and hopeless? Well, that's probably because it is.  Luckily, WitOut has someone who can help.

In addition to mastering chaos, slaying posers, dabbling in haiku poetry and being available for weddings, corporate events, motivational speaking and FUNERALS, we are proud to announce that the Necrosexual now has his very own advice column here on WitOut: "Necrosexual Solves Your Stupid Poser Problems."

Comment below with all the questions, concerns, hopes, fears and dreams you need the trve black metal warrior's guidance on. Necrosexual will answer your pitiful cries for help as he sees fit.  Kindly use this letter format:


Dear Necrosexual,

STUPID POSER PROBLEM

Signed,
STUPID POSER NAME

 

Doubt his qualifications? You're an idiot.  Necrosexual has his own YouTube channel—need we say more? Didn't think so, but here are some samples, just in case:


"Ridiculosity" from Unite Fitness

Yo, guys, makin' New Year's resolutions? Losing weight is one of 'em, right? Of course it is! Because if you're not skinny, you're not healthy, and you're definitely not attractive, for serious.

Luckily, there's a solution to transform your fat ass for 2013:

This fitness spoof video was brought to you by Unite Fitness, a totally real thing that's launched an actual fitness program: their 3-month Virtual Bootcamp.  You can check that out if your ass really is fat, but I don't think it is, honestly, I think you're perfect just the way you are, and I'm sorry I said that at the beginning of the post. Please don't cry.

A whole crew of local comedians helped make this video, including former Philly (now L.A.) improviser Michael Tomasetti (Mayor Karen), who co-wrote, produced and directed it.  The actors are Tony Rodriguez and comedians Abigail Bruley (Down the Show, Nielsen), Jim Burns (Hot Dish), Jimmy Viola (Necrosexual), Latice Mitchell-Klapa (stand-up), Amie Roe (The Amie & Kristen Show/The Kristen & Amie Show), and Jess Carpenter (Comedian Deconstruction, Iron Lung). Kevin Donahue filmed and edited.


Free Improv at Connie's Ric Rac

Description: In lieu of the new year Free improv @ Connie's will be the *second* Tuesday in January (January 8th), Please spread the word and bring your friends!

This months featured Improv comedy goodness:

Deleted Scenes
Those Two Nice Ladies
Bad James
The Five "Best" Male Improvisers

Gross Butler
Angry People Building Things
Cock Hat
Vertical Scream

Style: Improv

Date: January 8

Time: Doors-8pm Show-9pm

Admission: Free

Location: Connie's Ric Rac - 1132 S. 9th St.

Contact: Facebook Event


"Merry Christmas, Titanic Head!" by ManiPedi

Here's another holiday video from ManiPedi, which debuted at last Sunday's Secret Pants sketch comedy extravaganza, A Banner Year at the Ol' Bender House.

Iceberg, right ahead!

More importantly, the video also raises awareness about depression and misanthropy in Titanic-headed individuals. If you or a family member has a Titanic head, talk to ManiPedi for ways to cope. Listen, all you Titanic heads out there. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and you're gonna make lots of babies, and you're gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old... an old Titanic Head lady warm in her bed, not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me? You make your own luck. I mean, you got everything you need right here with you. You got air in your lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, you love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who you're gonna meet, where you're gonna wind up. Just the other night you were sleeping under a bridge and now here you are with a head that's the grandest ship in the world, having champagne with us fine people. I figure life's a gift and you shouldn't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. Learn to take life as it comes at you...to make each day count.

You can see ManiPedi LIVE TONIGHT at 'Sideshow Presents: Know When to Leave' at 8pm at the Arts Parlor (1170 S. Broad Street). Admission is $10. BYOB.


A Motown New Year's Eve

Description: You're invited to an exclusive NYE event hosted by Carl Boccuti, Chip Chantry, and Johnny Goodtimes! The night will include:

OPEN BAR 9 PM - 1 AM, including beer, wine, well liquor, and a champagne toast! Free snacks (tomato pie, pretzels, etc) as well!

COMEDY SHOW 9:30 - 10:45, featuring:
DOOGIE HORNER! (2010 Philly's Phunniest winner, America's Got Talent quarterfinalist)
TOMMY POPE! (2011 Philly's Phunniest winner, Bird Text)
LUKE CUNNINGHAM! (writer, Late Night with Jimmie Fallon, Sports Show with Norm MacDonald, Bird Text)
JOHN MCKEEVER! (Bird Text)
MARY RADZINSKI! (Helium Comedy Club)
PAT HOUSE! (Helium Comedy Club)

and a few SPECIAL GUESTS!

MOTOWN/FUNK/SOUL DANCE PARTY w/DJ HONKEYTRON! 10:45 - 1:45 AM

Formal attire is encouraged, but not required.

Style: Stand-up

Date: December 31

Time: 9pm

Admission: $50 per person (includes food, alcohol, comedy, and music). Must be paid in advance via PayPal to 20snye@gmail.com (PLEASE choose "Personal" as the transaction type).

Location: La Stanza - 2001 W Oregon Ave, Philadelphia

Contact: Facebook Event