The Roat of Meg Favreau is tonight at Philly Improv Theater (purchase tickets online if you want to get a seat — it’ll be packed). Unfortunately, Andrew Nice Clay cannot make it tonight, but he was kind enough to send us jokes that he would have used were he going to be there.

Meg and Rob are like Lucy and Desi if Desi wasn’t Latino and Lucy was a little bit prettier and funnier.

Meg Favreau? More like Meg Favoritecomedianofmine, am I right?

Meg’s moving to L.A. to do comedy — yeah, good luck with that! Seriously.

Meg, let me give you some advice: The first thing you should do when you get to LA is go straight to a plastic surgeon, because a lot of actresses have been requesting, “that Favreau look,” and I bet the surgeon would pay you a lot of money if you let him make plaster casts of your nose and stuff.

Meg is the second funniest comedian ever. (Sorry! Just kidding. It’s a roast.)

Meg is so small and skinny that it’s hard to believe she can fit so much talent in such a small package. Oh wait, that joke was supposed to be about Rob’s dick. (Rob I’m just kidding!)

Meg should take a comedy class and teach it.

Some people say Meg looks like a 12 year old boy — these people are just jealous. Ignore them.

Meg is a member of the improv troupe the Real Housewives of Philadelphia, which is ironic because she’s not a housewife and is moving away from Philadelphia. I guess she’ll have to join a new improv troupe called The Real Hard-Working and Extremely Talented Single Women who Don’t Feel Like Settling Down Just Yet Even Though They’re a Total Catch of Los Angeles.

Meg already has one job lined up in LA, as a nude body double for Charlize Theron. Meg is also very smart though, and shouldn’t just be treated like a piece of meat. The objectification of women makes me sick.

I think Rob is a lot funnier when Meg isn’t around, because when she’s on stage her beauty and talent eclipse everyone else.

Meg’s so funny that sometimes I forget she’s a woman.

The Roast is at 8PM tonight and will feature the all-star line-up of Chip Chantry, Darryl Charles, Aaron Hertzog, The Feeko Brothers, Emily McGraw, Paul Triggiani, Rob Baniewicz, Luke Giordano, Mike Rainey, Alli Soowal, Brendan Kennedy, Mary Radzinski, Carolyn Busa, and Doogie Horner.