“It’s Elementary” is a monthly column that asks comedians to share memories from their elementary school years that have informed their comedic identities. Or are just random anecdotes. Whatever they want, really. This month spotlights the extraordinary Jen Curcio!
by Dave Metter
I have long been fascinated by what has influenced and inspired other comedy writers, especially during their youths when their comedic senses were still so nascent and less judgmental. Be they films or television shows, random anecdotes or funny relatives, I ask comedians to share a few experiences or works they recall notably from their elementary school years. This edition of “It’s Elementary” features Jen Curcio, member of improv troupes Mayor Karen and ApocaLIPS, and a former member of the late Hey Rube.
1st Period: Art
In 5th grade, my 3rd grade status of being hilarious was running out. I wasn’t getting the attention any 10 year old girl craves, so I found an old bottle of AquaNet (they stopped making that in ’91, so, it was old) and bought a bottle of purple Manic Panic hair dye and got some attention! First, I dyed my hair purple. Not like a faint purple tint over my blonde hair, I mean like I was not a blonde I was a purple. Then I held my bangs up in the shape of a wave (think Gwen Stefani circa ’95) and went crazy with the AquaNet until that tsunami of hair would not crash down. My parents just thought it was creative and what they get for leaving a 10 year old home alone for some small (legal) amount of time. Mrs. Graham, my fifth grade teacher’s jaw dropped when I walked in the next day. Susan, who was alphabetically required to sit next to me, refused to because of my new hairdo. A small group of girls (one girl) thought it was awesome and copied my style. It was from this day forward I knew I enjoyed getting attention for doing weird things.
2nd Period: Phys Ed
My cousin Steve lived with my family when I was in elementary school. He recognized my talent for billiards when I was 8, so naturally he started taking me to seedy pool halls in downtown West Chester, PA, to play against (he would place bets on me) large, burly men with long beards. I hate to brag, but I was pretty great at pool. I almost never lost a game. This was the first time I had to face stage fright, or really it was normal fright because I was a little kid in a seedy pool hall.
3rd Period: Indoor Recess
I was always very shy and struggled to make friends in elementary school, but one day in 3rd grade I decided to come out of my turtle shell in a grand way. I was going to go for the gold (as it was the Winter Olympics of ’94 and Tonya Harding was my idol) and make everyone in the class crack up. I walked over to the arts and crafts area in the class room and grabbed some clay to form what resembled human feces. Then I walked into the middle of the play area, surrounded by the other children, and I made a noise to get everyone’s attention. When I was certain everyone was looking at me, I dropped the clay feces from behind my back and announced that I had crapped myself. All the cool kids were rolling on the floor laughing; the teacher immediately scolded me and I acted like I didn’t care because I was a bad ass. I realized that day I could use my brilliant sense of humor to win over the cool kids and look like a rebel.
4th Period: Talent Show!
When I was in kindergarten my grandmother lived with us and would take care of me after school. She was in for a real treat every day, because after school every day I would hop up onto the step in front of our fire place (I don’t know the proper terminology because I am an interior design school drop-out) and put on a talent show. Sometimes I would tell, “Why did the chicken cross the road…” jokes and sometimes I would belt out my rendition of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song, and other times I would have a live cooking demonstration. God bless that woman for being patient, eating whatever was made during my cooking demonstrations, and for always pretending like it was a great show.
You can see Jen performing with Mayor Karen this Saturday at Philly Improv Theater at The Shubin Theatre (407 Bainbridge Street) at 8PM.
Dave Metter is a comedy writer from the Philly burbs. Check out his show Your News, Philadelphia! on May 22nd at The Shubin Theatre (407 Bainbridge Street), part of PHIT’s Sweeps Weeks. Follow Dave on Twitter @DaveMetter.