In our series, “You Should Call Your Parents,” comedians interview their parents to find out how they feel about their offspring’s pursuit of the stage.
Jeff Soles: Did you ever think I’d become a comedian?
Kitty Soles: No because it’s too scary. Getting up in front of strangers and having to think of jokes real quick. What if they don’t laugh?
JS: Have you seen me bomb?
KS: One time. Down in Philly. I was with Aunt Mary and was like, “They’re not laughing!” when you first started. I wanted to cry. Nobody was laughing. I thought, “Let’s laugh real loud and then they’ll laugh with us.” I wasn’t embarrassed, I was scared for you. My hands were all sweaty.
JS: What was your first reaction when I told you I wanted to do stand up?
KS: I was surprised. I thought you were crazy. You’re so quiet. To get up in front of people you don’t know and try to make them laugh.
JS: Do you think I’ll ever get married and have kids?
KS: Probably not. Cuz you’re too fussy. Too picky. You have to be nice to a girl. And you don’t like to do that for very long. You’d be a good father. But I don’t know about married.
JS: What if I just knocked somebody up and brought home a baby and asked to move back home?
KS: Oooohh. After I got over the shock and went to confession to see the priest (laughs). You know I’d accept your baby because it’s my grandchild. But don’t expect me to raise it. I’m getting too old for that. I’m not taking care of your mess.
JS: What if I start going to NY by myself? To make it?
KS: I know, but it’s better than Philly. I watch the Philly news. I don’t watch the NY news. So I won’t know.
JS: Are you ashamed to tell your friends and family that I do comedy?
KS: No. I love it. They always ask me what jokes you do and what you talk about on stage. I try to do your jokes but I will either forget how it goes or mess it up. Then they just laugh at me. But you were on Comcast on demand and we went to Aunt Anne’s to watch it and I thought she was going to piss her pants laughing. You did a joke making fun of us for watching the lottery and all that and she was laughing because she does the things you were making fun of. She got a kick out of that.
JS: Who do I get my humor from?
KS: I think both sides of your family. Our side always jokes around and laughs and has a good time. Your dad always likes telling jokes. Whenever we visit relatives they always ask him if he heard any new jokes. But he just tells the same jokes that we’ve heard a hundred times. But we still laugh.
JS: Do you remember the first joke I ever told?
KS: Yes you were about 5 or 6 years old. Out of nowhere you came up to me and said, “Have you seen Dolly Parton’s new shoes? …. Neither did she.” And I was in such shock and I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t yell at you. My little baby was telling a dirty joke. That coming out of your innocent mouth was just too funny. You always went around telling people jokes from your little joke book. Your favorite one you told during dinner was, “What do you call a fish with two knees? …. A two-knee fish!” It was cute. We had a good laugh.
Jeff Soles is a Philadelphia-area stand-up comedian and member of sketch comedy group IdRatherBeHere. He can be seen performing at a fundraiser show for CONCERN on Friday, May 17 at the Willow Grove VFW.
If you are a Philadelphia-area comedian who’d like to interview one (or both) of your parents send us an email to firstname.lastname@example.org for more information. Go ahead, do it. You should really call your parents more anyways.