amir gollan « WitOut

May 18, 2013 10:00 pmMo Mandel
May 18, 2013 10:00 pmPHIT House Team Night
May 18, 2013 11:00 pmCagematch
May 19, 2013 12:00 amThe Bat
May 19, 2013 2:00 pmIt's My Party: The Women & Comedy Project
May 19, 2013 4:00 pmFighting Lupus Through Laughter
May 19, 2013 5:00 pmStill Standing Comedy Jam
May 19, 2013 6:00 pmLaff Out Loud And Friends Comedy Show
May 19, 2013 7:00 pmPhiladelphia Comedy Academy Contest
May 19, 2013 7:00 pmPHIT Conservatory presents: "Hydra"
May 19, 2013 8:30 pmThe Deans
May 20, 2013 9:00 pmAM Killers in the PM
May 21, 2013 7:00 pmSelect Start + Rowbit
May 21, 2013 8:00 pmA Bunch of Improv
May 21, 2013 8:30 pmPHIT House Team Harold Night
May 22, 2013 8:00 pmConklin's Comedy Night
May 23, 2013 8:00 pmLaff Therapy Thursdays
May 23, 2013 8:30 pmFigment Theater's The Vagabond Sessions
May 24, 2013 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
May 24, 2013 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
May 25, 2013 7:30 pmSarcasm Comedy Club
May 25, 2013 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
May 25, 2013 9:30 pmSarcasm Comedy Club
May 25, 2013 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
May 25, 2013 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia

AEC v1.0.4

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 27

By Aaron Hertzog, on April 5th, 2013

No one else has used the tshirt slogan “SOFT ICE CREAM GETS ME HARD”, right?

— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) April 3, 2013

Video games, working on comedy, healthy marriage. Pick two. Whoops, I picked video games twice.

— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) April 3, 2013

I accidentally asked a pregnant lady if she was just fat. #Whoops!

— Jim Ginty (@Jim_Ginty) April 1, 2013

If I played for a soccer team it’d be called Reál Insecuré.

— Blake Wexler (@BlakeWexler) April 1, 2013

My cat’s declawed, so now his only weapon is sarcasm.

— Steve Swan (@stevenhswan) March 29, 2013

I used to get scared when I worked nights as a security guard so I carried a security blanket.

— Amir Gollan (@Agollan) April 2, 2013

Can’t wait to see who’s gonna be the winner of the “Go to Opening Day with Johnny Goodtimes” contest! Just give me a ticket, and you win!

— Johnny Goodtimes (@JohnnyGoodtimes) April 5, 2013

Just so you know, the guy at 7 Eleven doesn’t care that “Ima put these sweedish fish in my belly aquarium.”

— John McKeever (@JohnnyMcKeever) April 5, 2013

Starting to realize that every time someone’s told me to believe in myself, they were secretly trying to sabotage me.

— Doogie Horner (@DoogieHorner) March 31, 2013

I’m gonna go out on a limb here, and see if that gives me a better view inside this guy’s bedroom.

— Alejandro Morales(@AlleyHandRow) April 3, 2013

Birds chirping at 530am are the “white people asking if it’s Friday yet” of the animal kingdom.

— Michael Rainey (@mikerainey82) April 4, 2013

All jokes have been made. Log off now.

— Daniel Eastman (@danieleastman) April 5, 2013

Follow Witout on Twitter for updates from our site, as well as retweets of more of the best 140-character-or-less jokes from Philly comics.

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 25

By Aaron Hertzog, on March 22nd, 2013

I work in a rubiks cubicle. Takes me hours to get in and out.

— Amir Gollan (@Agollan) March 22, 2013

I put the “miss” in “misanthrope,” if you spell it wrong, you dumb jerk.

— Alison Zeidman (@AlisonZeidman) March 19, 2013

I don’t suppress my anger so much as put it in a freezer, where it’s safely stored until I can pull it out as a solid ball to hurl at a car.

— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) March 20, 2013

I miss winter already. Soon I won’t have anything to blame my shitty mood on.

— Mary Radzinski (@MaryRadzinski) March 20, 2013

I’ve heard drugs are fun, but I prefer organizing pens and stuff around my office.

— Doogie Horner (@DoogieHorner) March 21, 2013

If picking your nose was an Olympic event, I’d be like ‘why is this an Olympic event?’

— Jim Ginty (@Jim_Ginty) March 19, 2013

Everyone’s online dating profile is different but they all basically end with “or best offer.”

— John McKeever (@JohnnyMcKeever) March 19, 2013

The worst part about having a stomach bug is knowing someone is illegally listening in on everything that is going on inside your stomach.

— Christian Alsis (@christianalsis) March 19, 2013

Any illusion I may have had about being a real man was destroyed this weekend when I discovered the show “Too Cute!” on Animal Planet.

— Pat Barker (@patbarkercomedy) March 18, 2013

the big oscar movie this year was about mentally ill fuck ups living w/ their parents in the burbs just west of philly. so….not a loser

— JULIET HOPE WAYNE (@juliethopewayne) March 19, 2013

“Really thinking about getting back into thinking about getting back into things.” -every 30 year-old

— Carl Boccuti (@bocooter) March 21, 2013

Follow Witout on Twitter for updates from our site, as well as retweets of more of the best 140-character-or-less jokes from Philly comics.

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 22

By Aaron Hertzog, on March 1st, 2013

My car stereo has a scan button in case a bad song comes on. I also got a scan button put in for the clock in case I’m having a bad time.
— Amir Gollan (@Agollan) February 27, 2013

A little just birdie told me “You should go to the hospital, you hit your head really hard and have a severe concussion.”
— Jim Grammond (@jgrammond) February 25, 2013

I hate when I have something to complain about and someone tells me it’s a first world problem. #firstworldproblems

— Alison Zeidman (@AlisonZeidman) February 22, 2013

My diary is essentially Doogie Horner fan fiction.

— Doogie Horner (@DoogieHorner) February 27, 2013

“I have had it with these mothafuckin Blakes on this mothafuckin plane!” -probably the people on this plane I’m on. #BlakeHistoryMonth

— Blake Wexler (@BlakeWexler) February 26, 2013

I refer to Medieval Times as my “home away from home” because sometimes I hide from the staff when they close and sleep there.

— Dominic Moschitti (@Dommoschitti) March 1, 2013

Still not sure if “husky” was a real catholic school uniform pants size or if my mom and the uniform store guy were just very openly cruel.

— Tim Butterly (@timbutterly) February 28, 2013

You know those videos of servicemen coming home and surprising their children? I act the same way every time the pizza guy shows up.

— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) February 28, 2013

Follow Witout on Twitter for updates from our site, as well as retweets of more of the best 140-character-or-less jokes from Philly comics.

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 21

By Aaron Hertzog, on February 22nd, 2013

Follow Witout on Twitter for updates from our site, as well as retweets of more of the best 140-character-or-less jokes from Philly comics.

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 7

By Aaron Hertzog, on November 16th, 2012

Follow Witout on Twitter for updates from our site, as well as retweets of more of the best 140-character-or-less jokes from Philly comics.

Philly Comedy Round-up, Vol. 63

By Aaron Hertzog, on November 5th, 2012

This week, Comedy Month Philadelphia kicks off with the 8th Annual Philadelphia Improv Festival. This year, over 40 groups from cities all across North America will perform at the Prince Music Theater (1412 Chestnut St.) More information about workshops can be found and tickets can be purchased online.

Comedian Amir Gollan has been chosen as a semi-finalist for The Andy Kaufman Award and will perform in the semi-final showcase at Gotham Comedy Club in New York on Monday, November 12. The award was created to preserve the legacy of one of America’s most unique and influential performers in a dynamic way. The prestigious award honors Andy Kaufman’s creative spirit while simultaneously shining a spotlight on promising performers with the potential to impact the evolving culture of comedy.

Johnny Goodtimes interviewed Philly comics Chip Chantry and Doogie Horner about the issue of making jokes that poke fun of the Hurricane Sandy situation. You can read their thoughts on the subject here.

The full schedule for the 5th Annual Philly Sketchfest is now available online. This year, the festival will take place from November 12-17 at The Prince Music Theater (1412 Chestnut St.) as part of Comedy Month Philadelphia.

This Tuesday, Free Improv at Connie’s Ric Rac (1132 S. 9th St.) returns with a night of performances from Deleted Scenes, Gaper Delay, TTNL (Those Two Nice Ladies), POUSAAIT, Malone, Bad James, and Shame Parade. They also promise to keep you updated with the latest election coverage so you don’t miss out.

The Improvised Musical Suggestical is holding auditions for a one-night performance to be held in March 2013. Auditions will be held on November 18 from 1-5pm at A & E Studio (1233 Vine Street, Philadelphia). Interested performers can contact Claire Halberstadt at Suggestical@gmail.com to set up an audition timeslot.

Two new open mics will debut this week. First, this Tuesday will mark the inaugural Comedy Open Mic at the Headhouse Cafe (122 Lombard St.) Sign-ups begin at 7:30 with the mic kicking off at 8:00. Tight Six, “an open mic for stand-up, sketch, characters and more” begins this Sunday at Fergie’s Pub (1214 Sansom St.) sign-ups at 8:00, and the mic starts at 8:30.

If you have any Philly comedy news worth mentioning – send it our way with an email to contact@witout.net

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Tweets of the Week, Vol. 27

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 25

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 22

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 21

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 7

Philly Comedy Round-up, Vol. 63

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