I should have focused in college more on the ‘What I want to do with my life’ part & less of the ‘Everyday is like Old Country Buffet’ part
— Carolyn Busa (@misstoiletslave) May 2, 2013
If I were in charge of prisons, I would ban all large pushcarts full of dirty laundry.
— Christian Alsis (@christianalsis) April 27, 2013
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was during that TED talk he gave on how optical illusions work.
— Steve Swan (@stevenhswan) April 30, 2013
“The good witch” is NOT the right answer to “How would you describe yourself?” in an interview.
— Mary Radzinski (@MaryRadzinski) May 2, 2013
When people say they ‘feel some type of way’ they don’t know what they mean either. #TypaWay
— Jim Ginty (@Jim_Ginty) May 2, 2013
A lot of my “step two’s” are get ketchup.
— Jp Boudwin (@JpBoudwin) April 30, 2013
Saw a pair of sweatpants yesterday that I really wanted. I didn’t get them because I’m not ready for owning multiple pairs of sweatpants.
— Michael Rainey (@mikerainey82) April 27, 2013
did you ever see a moviethat everybodylovedbut youhated ? that’s how I feelabout the Zapruder film, oh, and ET
— John Kensil (@johnkensil) April 27, 2013
“So far I’ve accumulated 1,620 ways to Drive my Man Wild!” –person who enjoys magazines
— Doogie Horner (@DoogieHorner) April 29, 2013
“Toiletries don’t grow on Toilet Trees!” -a parent lecturing their child about wasting Q-tips.
— Blake Wexler (@BlakeWexler) May 1, 2013
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