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  • September 19, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
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  • September 19, 2014 9:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
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  • September 20, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • September 20, 2014 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
  • September 20, 2014 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
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  • September 25, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • September 25, 2014 9:00 pmThe Comedy Attic
  • September 26, 2014 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • September 26, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • September 26, 2014 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • September 26, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • September 26, 2014 9:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • September 27, 2014 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • September 27, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • September 27, 2014 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
  • September 27, 2014 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • September 27, 2014 10:30 pmImprov Comedy: PHIT House Teams
AEC v1.0.4

Reasons You Didn’t Make Vulture’s List Of 50 Comedians You Should and Will Know

by: Doogie Horner

1. Your name is hard to spell (and being Polish didn’t help either).

2. Congratulations, you’re number 51!

3. The editors at Vulture can’t remember whether or not you’re dead, and they don’t feel like googling it.

4. Maybe people refuse to take you seriously because you never stop clowning around?

5. Too edgy!

6. Not edgy enough.

7. You only perform in North Korea.

8. People should know you, but won’t.

9. People shouldn’t know you, but will.

10. You’re always eating a sandwich on stage and it makes it hard to understand you sometimes.

11. Your tenure as 42nd President of the United States overshadows your comedy career.

12. Crooked candy corn teeth

13. You’re not funny, so just knock it off.

14. Politics! (see reason 11)

Doogie Horner is a comedian, author, and graphic designer. He is a suppurating wound of comedy.

If you are a Philadelphia comedy performer that produces a podcast, web series, sketch video, humor column, or any other online content let us know by emailing us at contact@witout.net so we can share it!

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