Upcoming Shows

  • October 23, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • October 23, 2014 9:00 pmThe Comedy Attic
  • October 24, 2014 8:00 amNationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • October 24, 2014 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • October 24, 2014 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • October 24, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • October 24, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • October 24, 2014 9:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • October 25, 2014Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • October 25, 2014Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Heliun
  • October 25, 2014 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • October 25, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • October 25, 2014 9:00 pmComedy Train Rek presents Awkward Sex and the City
  • October 25, 2014 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
  • October 25, 2014 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • October 25, 2014 10:30 pmImprov Comedy: PHIT House Teams
  • October 29, 2014 8:00 pmComedy Masters
  • October 30, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • October 30, 2014 9:00 pmThe Comedy Attic
  • October 31, 2014 8:00 amNationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • October 31, 2014 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • October 31, 2014 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • October 31, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • October 31, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • October 31, 2014 9:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
AEC v1.0.4

Reasons You Didn’t Make Vulture’s List Of 50 Comedians You Should and Will Know

by: Doogie Horner

1. Your name is hard to spell (and being Polish didn’t help either).

2. Congratulations, you’re number 51!

3. The editors at Vulture can’t remember whether or not you’re dead, and they don’t feel like googling it.

4. Maybe people refuse to take you seriously because you never stop clowning around?

5. Too edgy!

6. Not edgy enough.

7. You only perform in North Korea.

8. People should know you, but won’t.

9. People shouldn’t know you, but will.

10. You’re always eating a sandwich on stage and it makes it hard to understand you sometimes.

11. Your tenure as 42nd President of the United States overshadows your comedy career.

12. Crooked candy corn teeth

13. You’re not funny, so just knock it off.

14. Politics! (see reason 11)

Doogie Horner is a comedian, author, and graphic designer. He is a suppurating wound of comedy.

If you are a Philadelphia comedy performer that produces a podcast, web series, sketch video, humor column, or any other online content let us know by emailing us at contact@witout.net so we can share it!

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 31

Follow Witout on Twitter for updates from our site, as well as retweets of more of the best 140-character-or-less jokes from Philly comics.

Comedy Show Round-up: May 3, 2013

Shows

The Comedy Works – 7:00pm at Georgine’s Restaurant

The Bat – 7:00pm at Philly Improv Theater

Mitch Fatel – 7:30 & 10:00pm at Helium Comedy Club

The N Crowd – 8:00pm at The Actor’s Center

Dog Mountain – 8:30pm at Philly Improv Theater

Doylestown Comedy Cabaret – 9:00pm at Poco’s

Sketch Up or Shut Up – 11:00pm at Philly Improv Theater

Open Mics

Hodge Podge – 8:00pm (7:30pm signups) at Hodge Podge, 1212 South St., Philadelphia

If you run a Philadelphia-area comedy show or open mic let us know so we can share it on our calendar and in our daily show round-ups by sending us the information from our submit a show page to contact@witout.net.