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Upcoming Shows

  • April 24, 2015 8:00 amNationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • April 24, 2015 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • April 24, 2015 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • April 24, 2015 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • April 24, 2015 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • April 24, 2015 9:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • April 25, 2015Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Heliun
  • April 25, 2015Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • April 25, 2015 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • April 25, 2015 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • April 25, 2015 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
  • April 25, 2015 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • April 25, 2015 10:30 pmImprov Comedy: PHIT House Teams
  • April 27, 2015 8:00 pmRoad to Cape Fear
  • May 1, 2015 8:00 amNationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • May 1, 2015 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • May 1, 2015 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • May 1, 2015 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • May 1, 2015 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • May 1, 2015 9:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • May 2, 2015Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • May 2, 2015Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Heliun
  • May 2, 2015 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • May 2, 2015 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • May 2, 2015 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
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Reasons You Didn’t Make Vulture’s List Of 50 Comedians You Should and Will Know

by: Doogie Horner

1. Your name is hard to spell (and being Polish didn’t help either).

2. Congratulations, you’re number 51!

3. The editors at Vulture can’t remember whether or not you’re dead, and they don’t feel like googling it.

4. Maybe people refuse to take you seriously because you never stop clowning around?

5. Too edgy!

6. Not edgy enough.

7. You only perform in North Korea.

8. People should know you, but won’t.

9. People shouldn’t know you, but will.

10. You’re always eating a sandwich on stage and it makes it hard to understand you sometimes.

11. Your tenure as 42nd President of the United States overshadows your comedy career.

12. Crooked candy corn teeth

13. You’re not funny, so just knock it off.

14. Politics! (see reason 11)

Doogie Horner is a comedian, author, and graphic designer. He is a suppurating wound of comedy.

If you are a Philadelphia comedy performer that produces a podcast, web series, sketch video, humor column, or any other online content let us know by emailing us at contact@witout.net so we can share it!

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 31

Follow Witout on Twitter for updates from our site, as well as retweets of more of the best 140-character-or-less jokes from Philly comics.

Comedy Show Round-up: May 3, 2013

Shows

The Comedy Works – 7:00pm at Georgine’s Restaurant

The Bat – 7:00pm at Philly Improv Theater

Mitch Fatel – 7:30 & 10:00pm at Helium Comedy Club

The N Crowd – 8:00pm at The Actor’s Center

Dog Mountain – 8:30pm at Philly Improv Theater

Doylestown Comedy Cabaret – 9:00pm at Poco’s

Sketch Up or Shut Up – 11:00pm at Philly Improv Theater

Open Mics

Hodge Podge – 8:00pm (7:30pm signups) at Hodge Podge, 1212 South St., Philadelphia

If you run a Philadelphia-area comedy show or open mic let us know so we can share it on our calendar and in our daily show round-ups by sending us the information from our submit a show page to contact@witout.net.