Upcoming Shows

  • April 16, 2014 7:30 pmMILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN @PHIT
  • April 16, 2014 9:00 pmTHIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN + SABOTAGE @ PHIT
  • April 16, 2014 10:00 pmTHIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN @ PHIT
  • April 17, 2014 7:30 pmTHE FLAT EARTH PRESENTS… @ PHIT
  • April 17, 2014 7:30 pmMILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN @ PHIT
  • April 17, 2014 9:00 pmThe Comedy Attic
  • April 17, 2014 10:30 pmTHE SIDESHOW @ PHIT
  • April 18, 2014 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • April 18, 2014 7:30 pmTHE FLAT EARTH PRESENTS… @ PHIT
  • April 18, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • April 18, 2014 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • April 18, 2014 9:00 pmTHE FLAT EARTH PRESENTS… @ PHIT
  • April 18, 2014 10:30 pmATOMIC CINEMA VAULT @ PHIT
  • April 18, 2014 11:00 pmSKETCH UP OR SHUT UP @ PHIT
  • April 19, 2014 7:30 pmSarcasm Comedy Club
  • April 19, 2014 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • April 19, 2014 7:30 pmTHE FLAT EARTH PRESENTS… @ PHIT
  • April 19, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • April 19, 2014 8:00 pmBye Bye Liver: The Philadelphia Drinking Play
  • April 19, 2014 9:00 pmDR. SLEEPOVER @ PHIT
  • April 19, 2014 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
  • April 19, 2014 9:30 pmSarcasm Comedy Club
  • April 19, 2014 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • April 19, 2014 10:30 pmBIG BABY + MAYOR KAREN @ PHIT
  • April 20, 2014 4:00 pmPHIT PRESENTS: MILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN
AEC v1.0.4

Reasons You Didn’t Make Vulture’s List Of 50 Comedians You Should and Will Know

by: Doogie Horner

1. Your name is hard to spell (and being Polish didn’t help either).

2. Congratulations, you’re number 51!

3. The editors at Vulture can’t remember whether or not you’re dead, and they don’t feel like googling it.

4. Maybe people refuse to take you seriously because you never stop clowning around?

5. Too edgy!

6. Not edgy enough.

7. You only perform in North Korea.

8. People should know you, but won’t.

9. People shouldn’t know you, but will.

10. You’re always eating a sandwich on stage and it makes it hard to understand you sometimes.

11. Your tenure as 42nd President of the United States overshadows your comedy career.

12. Crooked candy corn teeth

13. You’re not funny, so just knock it off.

14. Politics! (see reason 11)

Doogie Horner is a comedian, author, and graphic designer. He is a suppurating wound of comedy.

If you are a Philadelphia comedy performer that produces a podcast, web series, sketch video, humor column, or any other online content let us know by emailing us at contact@witout.net so we can share it!

Tweets of the Week, Vol. 31

Follow Witout on Twitter for updates from our site, as well as retweets of more of the best 140-character-or-less jokes from Philly comics.

Comedy Show Round-up: May 3, 2013

Shows

The Comedy Works - 7:00pm at Georgine’s Restaurant

The Bat - 7:00pm at Philly Improv Theater

Mitch Fatel - 7:30 & 10:00pm at Helium Comedy Club

The N Crowd - 8:00pm at The Actor’s Center

Dog Mountain - 8:30pm at Philly Improv Theater

Doylestown Comedy Cabaret - 9:00pm at Poco’s

Sketch Up or Shut Up - 11:00pm at Philly Improv Theater

Open Mics

Hodge Podge – 8:00pm (7:30pm signups) at Hodge Podge, 1212 South St., Philadelphia

If you run a Philadelphia-area comedy show or open mic let us know so we can share it on our calendar and in our daily show round-ups by sending us the information from our submit a show page to contact@witout.net.