Upcoming Shows

  • December 20, 2014Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Heliun
  • December 20, 2014Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • December 20, 2014 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • December 20, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • December 20, 2014 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
  • December 20, 2014 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • December 20, 2014 10:30 pmImprov Comedy: PHIT House Teams
  • December 23, 2014 9:00 pmSecret Pants Presents: Cuban Tinsel Crisis
  • December 24, 2014 8:00 pmComedy Masters
  • December 25, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • December 26, 2014 8:00 amNationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • December 26, 2014 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • December 26, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • December 26, 2014 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • December 26, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • December 26, 2014 9:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • December 27, 2014Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • December 27, 2014Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Heliun
  • December 27, 2014 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • December 27, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • December 27, 2014 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
  • December 27, 2014 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • December 27, 2014 10:30 pmImprov Comedy: PHIT House Teams
  • December 31, 2014 8:00 pmComedy Masters
  • January 1, 2015 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
AEC v1.0.4

NEW COLUMN from WitOut: “Necrosexual Solves Your Stupid Poser Problems”

Does life sometimes seem cold, dark and hopeless? Well, that’s probably because it is.  Luckily, WitOut has someone who can help.

In addition to mastering chaos, slaying posers, dabbling in haiku poetry and being available for weddings, corporate events, motivational speaking and FUNERALS, we are proud to announce that the Necrosexual now has his very own advice column here on WitOut: “Necrosexual Solves Your Stupid Poser Problems.”

Comment below with all the questions, concerns, hopes, fears and dreams you need the trve black metal warrior’s guidance on. Necrosexual will answer your pitiful cries for help as he sees fit.  Kindly use this letter format:


Dear Necrosexual,

STUPID POSER PROBLEM

Signed,
STUPID POSER NAME

 

Doubt his qualifications? You’re an idiot.  Necrosexual has his own YouTube channel—need we say more? Didn’t think so, but here are some samples, just in case:

5 comments to NEW COLUMN from WitOut: “Necrosexual Solves Your Stupid Poser Problems”

  • Frankie Goes to Collingswood

    Dear Necrosexual,

    I’m still Facebook friends with a lot of my exes. I mean a lot. Is that emotionally healthy?

    Signed,

    Frankie Goes to Collingswood

  • Sleepless in Manhattan

    Dear Necrosexual,

    Is there really any point in sleeping? I mean, can’t we sleep when we’re dead? Or is it more “metal” to get lots of sleep now, in imitation of death? What are your thoughts?

    Signed,
    Sleepless in Mahattan

  • Voooorg Bloodshower

    Dear Necrosexual,

    I have been thinking of moving myself and my demon brood (Gladys and the kids) to the Death Metal Hinterland, central Florida. My concern is that the brutal and sweltering heat will cause our Corpse Paint to smudge and run. Do you have any tips on how to stay cool and evil in a semi-tropical climate.

    Thanks!
    Vooorg Blodshower
    Reading, PA

  • Nervous in New Haven

    Dear Necrosexual,

    My oldest daughter is about to go off to college and I’m worried silly! I want to let her grow and make her own mistakes but I also want to help her as much as I can. Is it possible to do both, and if so, how? Any help would be a gift from the man upstairs! Thanks!

    Nervous in New Haven

  • Lalu

    So I’m emotionally disconnected from 99% of people around me. is that bad?

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