Upcoming Shows

  • April 20, 2014 4:00 pmPHIT PRESENTS: MILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN
  • April 20, 2014 7:00 pmCAKE BEAR + THE DEAN’S LIST! @ PHIT
  • April 20, 2014 8:30 pmTHE SHAM! @ PHIT
  • April 23, 2014 7:30 pmADVENTURE FRIENDS PRESENT A SKETCH HAROLD + SABOTAGE @ PHIT
  • April 23, 2014 9:00 pmOUTSIDE VOICES + THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN @ PHIT
  • April 23, 2014 10:00 pmOUTSIDE VOICES @ PHIT
  • April 24, 2014 7:30 pmPHIT PRESENTS: MILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN
  • April 24, 2014 9:00 pmCHEAT CODE W. SPECIAL GUESTS @ PHIT
  • April 24, 2014 9:00 pmThe Comedy Attic
  • April 24, 2014 10:30 pmHOUSE OF BLACK @ PHIT
  • April 25, 2014 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • April 25, 2014 7:30 pmPHIT PRESENTS: MILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN
  • April 25, 2014 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • April 25, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • April 25, 2014 9:00 pmCHEAT CODE W. SPECIAL GUESTS @ PHIT
  • April 25, 2014 10:30 pmSTORY UP! AFTER DARK @ PHIT
  • April 25, 2014 11:00 pmIRON SKETCH @ PHIT
  • April 26, 2014 7:30 pmSarcasm Comedy Club
  • April 26, 2014 7:30 pmPHIT PRESENTS: MILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN
  • April 26, 2014 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • April 26, 2014 8:00 pmBye Bye Liver: The Philadelphia Drinking Play
  • April 26, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • April 26, 2014 9:00 pmMEN WITH FACES + BIG BABY @ PHIT
  • April 26, 2014 9:30 pmSarcasm Comedy Club
  • April 26, 2014 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
AEC v1.0.4

NEW COLUMN from WitOut: “Necrosexual Solves Your Stupid Poser Problems”

Does life sometimes seem cold, dark and hopeless? Well, that’s probably because it is.  Luckily, WitOut has someone who can help.

In addition to mastering chaos, slaying posers, dabbling in haiku poetry and being available for weddings, corporate events, motivational speaking and FUNERALS, we are proud to announce that the Necrosexual now has his very own advice column here on WitOut: “Necrosexual Solves Your Stupid Poser Problems.”

Comment below with all the questions, concerns, hopes, fears and dreams you need the trve black metal warrior’s guidance on. Necrosexual will answer your pitiful cries for help as he sees fit.  Kindly use this letter format:


Dear Necrosexual,

STUPID POSER PROBLEM

Signed,
STUPID POSER NAME

 

Doubt his qualifications? You’re an idiot.  Necrosexual has his own YouTube channel—need we say more? Didn’t think so, but here are some samples, just in case:

5 comments to NEW COLUMN from WitOut: “Necrosexual Solves Your Stupid Poser Problems”

  • Frankie Goes to Collingswood

    Dear Necrosexual,

    I’m still Facebook friends with a lot of my exes. I mean a lot. Is that emotionally healthy?

    Signed,

    Frankie Goes to Collingswood

  • Sleepless in Manhattan

    Dear Necrosexual,

    Is there really any point in sleeping? I mean, can’t we sleep when we’re dead? Or is it more “metal” to get lots of sleep now, in imitation of death? What are your thoughts?

    Signed,
    Sleepless in Mahattan

  • Voooorg Bloodshower

    Dear Necrosexual,

    I have been thinking of moving myself and my demon brood (Gladys and the kids) to the Death Metal Hinterland, central Florida. My concern is that the brutal and sweltering heat will cause our Corpse Paint to smudge and run. Do you have any tips on how to stay cool and evil in a semi-tropical climate.

    Thanks!
    Vooorg Blodshower
    Reading, PA

  • Nervous in New Haven

    Dear Necrosexual,

    My oldest daughter is about to go off to college and I’m worried silly! I want to let her grow and make her own mistakes but I also want to help her as much as I can. Is it possible to do both, and if so, how? Any help would be a gift from the man upstairs! Thanks!

    Nervous in New Haven

  • Lalu

    So I’m emotionally disconnected from 99% of people around me. is that bad?

Leave a Reply

 

 

 

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>