Upcoming Shows

  • April 18, 2014 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • April 18, 2014 7:30 pmTHE FLAT EARTH PRESENTS… @ PHIT
  • April 18, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • April 18, 2014 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • April 18, 2014 9:00 pmTHE FLAT EARTH PRESENTS… @ PHIT
  • April 18, 2014 10:30 pmATOMIC CINEMA VAULT @ PHIT
  • April 18, 2014 11:00 pmSKETCH UP OR SHUT UP @ PHIT
  • April 19, 2014 7:30 pmSarcasm Comedy Club
  • April 19, 2014 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • April 19, 2014 7:30 pmTHE FLAT EARTH PRESENTS… @ PHIT
  • April 19, 2014 8:00 pmBye Bye Liver: The Philadelphia Drinking Play
  • April 19, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • April 19, 2014 9:00 pmDR. SLEEPOVER @ PHIT
  • April 19, 2014 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
  • April 19, 2014 9:30 pmSarcasm Comedy Club
  • April 19, 2014 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • April 19, 2014 10:30 pmBIG BABY + MAYOR KAREN @ PHIT
  • April 20, 2014 4:00 pmPHIT PRESENTS: MILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN
  • April 20, 2014 7:00 pmCAKE BEAR + THE DEAN’S LIST! @ PHIT
  • April 20, 2014 8:30 pmTHE SHAM! @ PHIT
  • April 23, 2014 7:30 pmADVENTURE FRIENDS PRESENT A SKETCH HAROLD + SABOTAGE @ PHIT
  • April 23, 2014 9:00 pmOUTSIDE VOICES + THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN @ PHIT
  • April 23, 2014 10:00 pmOUTSIDE VOICES @ PHIT
  • April 24, 2014 7:30 pmPHIT PRESENTS: MILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN
  • April 24, 2014 9:00 pmThe Comedy Attic
AEC v1.0.4

NEW COLUMN from WitOut: “Necrosexual Solves Your Stupid Poser Problems”

Does life sometimes seem cold, dark and hopeless? Well, that’s probably because it is.  Luckily, WitOut has someone who can help.

In addition to mastering chaos, slaying posers, dabbling in haiku poetry and being available for weddings, corporate events, motivational speaking and FUNERALS, we are proud to announce that the Necrosexual now has his very own advice column here on WitOut: “Necrosexual Solves Your Stupid Poser Problems.”

Comment below with all the questions, concerns, hopes, fears and dreams you need the trve black metal warrior’s guidance on. Necrosexual will answer your pitiful cries for help as he sees fit.  Kindly use this letter format:


Dear Necrosexual,

STUPID POSER PROBLEM

Signed,
STUPID POSER NAME

 

Doubt his qualifications? You’re an idiot.  Necrosexual has his own YouTube channel—need we say more? Didn’t think so, but here are some samples, just in case:

5 comments to NEW COLUMN from WitOut: “Necrosexual Solves Your Stupid Poser Problems”

  • Frankie Goes to Collingswood

    Dear Necrosexual,

    I’m still Facebook friends with a lot of my exes. I mean a lot. Is that emotionally healthy?

    Signed,

    Frankie Goes to Collingswood

  • Sleepless in Manhattan

    Dear Necrosexual,

    Is there really any point in sleeping? I mean, can’t we sleep when we’re dead? Or is it more “metal” to get lots of sleep now, in imitation of death? What are your thoughts?

    Signed,
    Sleepless in Mahattan

  • Voooorg Bloodshower

    Dear Necrosexual,

    I have been thinking of moving myself and my demon brood (Gladys and the kids) to the Death Metal Hinterland, central Florida. My concern is that the brutal and sweltering heat will cause our Corpse Paint to smudge and run. Do you have any tips on how to stay cool and evil in a semi-tropical climate.

    Thanks!
    Vooorg Blodshower
    Reading, PA

  • Nervous in New Haven

    Dear Necrosexual,

    My oldest daughter is about to go off to college and I’m worried silly! I want to let her grow and make her own mistakes but I also want to help her as much as I can. Is it possible to do both, and if so, how? Any help would be a gift from the man upstairs! Thanks!

    Nervous in New Haven

  • Lalu

    So I’m emotionally disconnected from 99% of people around me. is that bad?

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