Upcoming Shows

  • December 18, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • December 18, 2014 9:00 pmThe Comedy Attic
  • December 19, 2014 8:00 amNationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • December 19, 2014 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • December 19, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • December 19, 2014 8:00 pmHang On w/ Aaron Nevins
  • December 19, 2014 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • December 19, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • December 19, 2014 9:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • December 20, 2014Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • December 20, 2014Nationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Heliun
  • December 20, 2014 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • December 20, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • December 20, 2014 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
  • December 20, 2014 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • December 20, 2014 10:30 pmImprov Comedy: PHIT House Teams
  • December 23, 2014 9:00 pmSecret Pants Presents: Cuban Tinsel Crisis
  • December 24, 2014 8:00 pmComedy Masters
  • December 25, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • December 26, 2014 8:00 amNationally Touring Headline Comedians @ Helium
  • December 26, 2014 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • December 26, 2014 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • December 26, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • December 26, 2014 8:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
  • December 26, 2014 9:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
AEC v1.0.4

Top 5 of 2012: Chris Dolan’s Top Five Open Mic Moments

As the year winds down, WitOut collects lists from comedy performers and fans of their favorite moments, comedians, groups, shows, etc. from the last year in Philly comedy. Top 5 of 2012 lists will run throughout December–if you’d like to write one, pitch us your list at contact@witout.net!

5: “Fruit cup? What’s that, a jock strap in San Francisco?”

4: “I just saw an Asian woman in the parking lot — she was all excited. I asked her why and she said it was Erection Day!”

Note: 4 & 5 were told by the same guy, same set, on Election Night 2012.

3: “I don’t have a muffin top, I have a mushroom cloud!”.

Note: That was told by a middle-aged woman and it sincerely made me laugh.

2: A guy on break from his dart league jumped up on stage during a very sparsely attended open mic at the same venue to announce “I want to tell a couple of black jokes. It’s okay…I checked.”

Note: Horrific, stupid and unforgettable.

1: [paraphrasing] “Honey Boo-Boo — what a motherfuckin’ train wreck that is….”

Note: I think that was the whole joke. And what 2012 compilation could ever be complete without a Honey Boo-Boo reference?

Chris Dolan is a standup who lives in the Montco burbs. He has emcee’d the Phila Comedy Academy Graduation Showcase, and placed second in several comedy contests, making him the Gold Medalist of Silver Medalists, kinda. You can follow him on Twitter @CMDolan99

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