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  • March 13, 2015 9:30 pmFigment Theater: Sessions @ Studio C
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  • March 14, 2015 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • March 14, 2015 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • March 14, 2015 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
  • March 14, 2015 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
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Top 5 of 2012: Chris Dolan’s Top Five Open Mic Moments

As the year winds down, WitOut collects lists from comedy performers and fans of their favorite moments, comedians, groups, shows, etc. from the last year in Philly comedy. Top 5 of 2012 lists will run throughout December–if you’d like to write one, pitch us your list at contact@witout.net!

5: “Fruit cup? What’s that, a jock strap in San Francisco?”

4: “I just saw an Asian woman in the parking lot — she was all excited. I asked her why and she said it was Erection Day!”

Note: 4 & 5 were told by the same guy, same set, on Election Night 2012.

3: “I don’t have a muffin top, I have a mushroom cloud!”.

Note: That was told by a middle-aged woman and it sincerely made me laugh.

2: A guy on break from his dart league jumped up on stage during a very sparsely attended open mic at the same venue to announce “I want to tell a couple of black jokes. It’s okay…I checked.”

Note: Horrific, stupid and unforgettable.

1: [paraphrasing] “Honey Boo-Boo — what a motherfuckin’ train wreck that is….”

Note: I think that was the whole joke. And what 2012 compilation could ever be complete without a Honey Boo-Boo reference?

Chris Dolan is a standup who lives in the Montco burbs. He has emcee’d the Phila Comedy Academy Graduation Showcase, and placed second in several comedy contests, making him the Gold Medalist of Silver Medalists, kinda. You can follow him on Twitter @CMDolan99

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