Upcoming Shows

  • April 16, 2014 7:30 pmMILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN @PHIT
  • April 16, 2014 9:00 pmTHIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN + SABOTAGE @ PHIT
  • April 16, 2014 10:00 pmTHIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN @ PHIT
  • April 17, 2014 7:30 pmTHE FLAT EARTH PRESENTS… @ PHIT
  • April 17, 2014 7:30 pmMILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN @ PHIT
  • April 17, 2014 9:00 pmThe Comedy Attic
  • April 17, 2014 10:30 pmTHE SIDESHOW @ PHIT
  • April 18, 2014 7:00 pmThe Comedy Works
  • April 18, 2014 7:30 pmTHE FLAT EARTH PRESENTS… @ PHIT
  • April 18, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • April 18, 2014 8:00 pmThe N Crowd
  • April 18, 2014 9:00 pmTHE FLAT EARTH PRESENTS… @ PHIT
  • April 18, 2014 10:30 pmATOMIC CINEMA VAULT @ PHIT
  • April 18, 2014 11:00 pmSKETCH UP OR SHUT UP @ PHIT
  • April 19, 2014 7:30 pmSarcasm Comedy Club
  • April 19, 2014 7:30 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • April 19, 2014 7:30 pmTHE FLAT EARTH PRESENTS… @ PHIT
  • April 19, 2014 8:00 pmCrazy Cow Comedy
  • April 19, 2014 8:00 pmBye Bye Liver: The Philadelphia Drinking Play
  • April 19, 2014 9:00 pmDR. SLEEPOVER @ PHIT
  • April 19, 2014 9:30 pmThe Comedy Works
  • April 19, 2014 9:30 pmSarcasm Comedy Club
  • April 19, 2014 10:00 pmComedy Sportz Philadelphia
  • April 19, 2014 10:30 pmBIG BABY + MAYOR KAREN @ PHIT
  • April 20, 2014 4:00 pmPHIT PRESENTS: MILLENNIUM QUEST: WARP JAWN
AEC v1.0.4

JUST THE MINUTES with Joe Moore (March Madness Comedy Competition Final Round)

The following is a report on last night’s March Madness Comedy Competition Finale, the Rumble in Manayunk. The undertaking of “March Madness” has been as great as it is large. Center City Comedy took on an arduous task, and this show went on witout a hitch. For the last month we have been asking the great question: what happens when you pit 72 comedians against each over the course of a month in a competition to see who can win the audience over?

The great answer: this…

7:02 – 9:18 — Emily and I arrive at Mad River. We are two hours early. We go to dinner, get coffee, buy some CDs, listen to them in my car, and then go to the show.
9:19 — In patriotic fashion, the crowd at Mad River is treated to a rendition of the National Anthem, beautifully delivered by Erin Hess.
9:22 — Host Tom Cassidy takes the stage.
9:24 — Tom introduces the commentators, Shifty-Man Foley and Waddles Washington.
9:31 — Tom removes his sweatshirt revealing zebra striped ref shirt and introduces the first contestant, Brendan Kennedy.
9:35 — A man standing near me makes an awkward squatting gesture. I catch it but don’t know what happened, like a nervous twitch.
9:36 — Brendan compliments Tom Arnold.
9:39 — The man squats awkwardly again, and I realize he is trying to adjust his underwear with out using hands.
9:40Jamil B is introduced.
9:41 — Third squat from this stranger. Guys, just go to the bath room and use your hands. Whatever that is, it’s weirder than just tugging at your crotch.

9:43 — Jamil B does an amazing Regis Philbin.
9:47 — Jamil B is off; referee Cassidy introduces Ian Fidance.
9:50 — A woman about five feet away from me flips the hair of a person standing in front of her, then ducks. It is the most passive aggressive ways of saying “excuse me” I’ve ever seen.
9:52 — Ian names a supermarket phenomena I’ve witnessed but never could define — “Front Milk.” Ask him about it sometime.
9:53 — The woman flips the stranger’s hair again. This time it works. The stranger looks around confused.
9:55Brandon Ketchup Wilson takes the stage dancing.
9:57 — The dancing ends, and the glasses come on.
10:01 — Brandon takes this opportunity to workshop a new nostalgic piece. Everyone laughs a lot.
10:06Tim Butterly is introduced after Brandon leaves.
10:08 — Crowd is focused, but one chatter box is shut down by ref Tom Cassidy, who keeps a diligent eye over us without being pushy or distracting. One of the first commendable performances of an official in Philadelphia’s history. Nice work, Tom.
10:13 — Tim and his daughter watched the 1986 animated movie Transformers, which I think is one of the coolest things a dad has ever done.
10:16Dan Scully is introduced.
10:18 — Dan is a lefty. So is Oprah, I think. The major difference between the two is that one has a very popular day time television show and the other is very funny.
10:19 — A woman makes a serious phone call. I’d imagine whoever she calls thinks she is on some hilarious subway train, where the conductor says a few things over the loud speaker, and the passengers all start laughing.
10:25 — Dan exits. Jon DelCollo takes the stage.
10:31 — Jon either met The Roots or is a liar. Either way, he’s got a really cool story out of it.
10:32 — There is someone on the other side of the room from where I am sitting that has a really great laugh. Worth mentioning — nice job, whoever you are.
10:34 — The crowd taps out, Ref Cassidy intervenes. Sean Quinn takes the stage.
10:38 — Sean doesn’t want to go to jail. Neither do I. But he’s got a lot of better reasons than I’ve ever thought of.
10:39 — I realize there are people still standing who have stood the whole show. Thanks to the dude who works at Mad River and brought us seats.
10:42 — Sean exits. We all vote and hand in our cards.

After carefully calculating certain measurements, considering variables, and correcting for error, the winners are named out of the eight finalists:

3rd place — Ian Fidance
2nd place — Brandon Ketchup Wilson
1st place — Jon DelCollo

Everybody on this show is a winner in their own right. These are people who have put in serious work and tonight received recognition for it. Terrific show, fellas.

The real winners — the audience, myself included, who saw the previously-mentioned terrific show with eight very distinct and varied great stand-ups. Terrific observing, everyone.

The real, real winners — the Champs Center City Comedy, for putting on the twice-aforementioned terrific show that didn’t cost me a dime. Terrific work, guys.

The real real actual winner, not in a sappy feel good way, Jon DelCollo, because he won. Terrific job, Jon.

Joe Moore is a comedy fan and sometimes-performer. You can follow him on Twitter.

Leave a Reply

 

 

 

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>